It was April 2017, I was about to turn thirty-three when a doctor’s appointment changed my mindset about when to start thinking about having children.
A couple of years ago the medical field changed the required time frame for women and their yearly woman exams. It used to be every year, hence the name yearly women exam, but they have changed it to every couple of years depending on the results of that years exam.
It had been a few years since I had an exam since I had been cleared for a year or two, plus in that time I had moved and gotten a new job so I needed to find a new doctor.
So I am sitting in the waiting room waiting to meet my new doctor when he finally enters the room, following him was an ultrasound machine. I had never had a doctor do this before. He explained why he does it and it made me feel good because it made him seem like he actually cared about my health.
I am so happy he had that ultrasound machine because he found a uterine fibroid in my uterus. He measured it and said it was four cm, he followed that with saying I would need to have a hysterectomy in ten years. He finished the conversation with saying if I wanted to have a family I should probably start trying soon. Needless to say it was not the best day for me.
He also mentioned there was not much that could be done about the fibroid because of where it was located. They couldn’t go in and cut it out because it would mean cutting a layer of my uterus so if I eventually got pregnant my uterus wouldn’t be able to stretch without tearing meaning I wouldn’t be able to carry a baby. There were other procedures that could be tried but I would have to have three miscarriages before they tried those procedures.
My boyfriend and I had been together for about nine months when I found out about my fibroid. We had already moved in together but we weren’t quite there yet to start trying to have a family. I told him what the doctor said but I wasn’t that pushy about it to help make him be a little more comfortable and not feel pressured.
A couple of months after the news, he took a two month job, six and a half hours north of where we live, in Superior Wisconsin. He brought his camper to live in at a local campground near the job site. It was a great summer for me since I love the Northwoods, and I went to visit him about once a month. I got some beautiful pictures and we had some pretty good adventures. By the end of the job it was seven months later which was longer than we both expected and a little too long for me, given the bad news.
He finally came home in January of 2018 and we decided to start trying to have a baby. Of course he came home about a week after my ovulation that month so we had to wait three weeks to start trying.
Fast forward to May 2018 when my yearly was scheduled for and I wasn’t particularly excited to go given the news from the prior year. I went in thinking it couldn’t be any worse than last year so I was trying to think positive! Boy was I wrong.
He came in with the same ultrasound machine, which I was actually happy about because again, it made me feel like he cared about my health.
After the ultrasound he told me my fibroid grew half of its size (it was four cm last year and this year it was at six cm) in a year which he didn’t seem extremely excited about. Next he told me I would have a hysterectomy by the time I was forty, which meant I lost three years in one year. Last year he told me I would have a hysterectomy in ten years and that would have made me forty-three. He went on to tell me he doesn’t usually see this in women my age it is more likely seen in women in their mid forties.
The only good thing about the appointment was that he could see that I was ovulating. He didn’t say I couldn’t have children but he looked genuinely sad for me with all the news he had to give me.
Technically we started trying in February of 2018 so we are going to keep trying until the end of this year. If by January 2019 I am not pregnant we will start testing for infertility and see if there is anything that we can do to try to help us have a baby. Four more long months of hoping and praying for a chance to create a family.